What is it about the gathering of the nation’s best college athletes that makes football fans giddy? Why do all major football magazines, television channels, and websites cover a bunch of football players running around not in pads, but in tights that are a few sizes too small? Is it because we find some satisfaction in objectifying these greatest of human specimens like horses on display at a livestock auction? Well, maybe…I mean, of course not! But seriously…yeah.

What is the combine, if it isn’t one big football meat market?

It really is the greatest spectacle of its kind in sports. No other sport draws so much attention from their standard evaluation process like the NFL combine. None even come close.

But just so you know what I mean, let’s pretend we are on a tour of the Combine (Order may be somewhat jumbled).

First, players are led into a poorly lit room, where they are told to stand at the front of a cold room, at which time they take off their shirts while hundreds of front office personnel evaluate their musculature and overall physique. Are they fat, skinny, well toned?

Second, teams can interrogate players about anything they wish. And I mean ANYTHING. Do you have a girlfriend? Are you married? Have you ever smoked pot? Why haven’t you lost weight? On this particular point, I think it has gone beyond an attempt at being thorough. Every aspect of a player’s life is fair game. Why? Teams want to know how committed a player is to the game. And apparently, having a family or girlfriend has to do with that….

Third, it is time to pull out the tape measure and have a player’s hand size, waist, legs, wingspan, and just about every other body part measured. After this is done, hop on the scales to find out whether the their college team wasn’t dyslexic with the numbers. Whoops!

Forth is the bread and butter portion of the show-the part fans get to see: the workout drills. Each prospect will be allowed to participate in each of the individual workout drills. They include: bench press, 3-cone drill, broad jump, vertical leap, shuttle, and the all-important 40 yard dash. Then position-specific drills will be completed for each offensive and defensive group. Of all the drills, these position drills are the most indicative of the tests given at the combine. Without them, I would have a difficult time differentiating this from a track meet.

What I enjoy about this portion of the combine is seeing gifted athletes do what the average Joe cannot. Not too many of my friends can leap 40 inches vertically while weighing 250 lbs. These big fellas stretch the bounds of what we previously thought was possible. Although the combine has some less than savory aspects to it, I believe this aforementioned reason is why we love the combine, and will continue to enjoy it for years to come.